I'm a quitter baby, so why don't ya kill me...

Ok. I give up. I am not totally giving up. I am still going to try to lose weight and eat healthier. I just don't like this. Maybe it's because I can't/don't cook. Maybe it's because I haven't been cooking a real "meal" at dinner. Maybe I'm just a loser. ;) But whatever it is, I just know that I don't want to live eating like this for the rest of my life. (yeah, I know after the six weeks you add some things, but I'm just not cut out for something this drastic.)

What I will continue doing is eating more fruits and veggies. Cutting out (at least most) meat. I'm going to stay off the coffee, although, I will probably drink green tea because it is good for you. I'll try to stay clear of sugar/salt - as much as I can - which means not adding any and being more conscious of it in things. I will also be DRAMATICALLY cutting back on grains, but I think some (healthy) ones are important. But compared to what I usually do, it will be way less. Really, I'll just be watching what I eat - and trying to eat healthy. I'm going to stick with the smoothies - especially trying to incorporate the green smoothies more. I am also going to try to exercise for 30 mins every day. I'd like to keep blogging as a way to keep track and keep myself accountable, but I will just be doing my own thing. Good luck Erin.

Withdrawl?

So it may be the weather, but I woke up in the middle of the night with worst itchy eczema ever and cold sweats! My hand has never been so itchy! Otherwise, I definitely am feeling better off of caffeine, my heart seems to race less. I had no idea it affected me that much. Just thought it was my thyroid problem.

First day of diet at work, forgot my beans! Panicking. Am going to try not to cheat. Have a huge salad and some fruit.

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Humus salad lunch

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That humus was kinda chunky! (I guess I was so hungry I didn't blend long enough)
- 1 can organic garbonzos
- about 1/2 cup water
- 1 tbsp tahini
- garlic powder
- splash of lemon juice

next time will add some paprika and maybe something like red peppers to flavor it more. Sun dried tomatoes would be good, but not sure if allowed. ?

Today's humus was a lot blander than I expected, and I ended up adding lots of garlic and even some Mrs. dash original. I ate it, lol. Then an apple and some pineapple. I'm full but surrounded by unhealthy foods and craving some. For a second I contemplated eating a strawberry poptart! I'm not cheating for now...

This is harder than I thought...

and I hope to get some brilliant ideas - and soon - in regards to what I'm eating. I know I won't make it the six weeks if yesterday was any kind of indication. I like salads and all, but I really had to force down the one I had for dinner. Yes, after only one day!

I am committing to giving it a week. If I see results, I may continue. If it gets easier, I may continue. If I don't die, :| I may continue. Ugh.

Oh, and I did cheat a tiny bit yesterday. It may just be due to my food addictions/issues, but all I thought about yesterday was food. I didn't even miss the caffeine because I was soo obsessed with food (or lack thereof). I will admit, I wasn't starving all day or anything, but my mind thought I was. LOL. I understand the principle about needing to break these negative food cravings/addictions, so I'm viewing this as a sort of detox period, but I know this will never work if I am feeling like I am depriving myself of things that I view as being healthy. Maybe I just need to give it the six weeks (which is a very, very long time). I don't know. I'm just frustrated.

em

my first smoothie

So I cheated a little today. Feel guilty and promised myself I'd make a veg & fruit packed smoothie for tonight with my dinner (I ended up making a bean burrito with a flour tortilla and tomatoes, but hey, NO cheese!). I even went out and bought a new blender. After much reading and contemplation in the blender isle, I ended up with a Ninja that is a food processor as well for $50 at Target. I need both, and I've read great things about the Ninjas. So far, great!

I only substituted blackberries for ice. Pretty good, I can taste the greens a little and it would be awesome with sweetened vanilla milk :D But I guess that's against the whole point. Tomorrow I'm so excited to make some humus. Yumm :) Hopefully I won't continue to feel so lost and confused about what to eat.

And here's a picture of my yummmmmmmmy smoothie.
Recipe inspired by: http://www.vegetablecarnival.com/emilys-green-monster-smoothie

-1 cup unsweetened almond milk
-2 large handfuls of spinach
-1 handful of chopped kale
-1 banana
-1 apple
-1 cup of frozen blackberries (or sub another frozen fruit)

THE 1st fat free vegan grocery trip!

So I learned a couple of things, making my hungry, last minute grocery kick-off trip this morning. I ended up spending $184. I got lots of fresh fruits and veggies, some frozen (can't wait to make some smoothies), and some bags of beans. I also got some items I hope to not have to buy as often, so hopefully the cost of my trips will lower. I picked up a couple of salad dressing cruets and a good new knife. Also, seasonings, vinegars, tahini and veggie/fruit wash. Nuts are so costly! It's worth it and I've spent more money at the weight loss doctors, so I just have to keep that in mind. I didn't get any seeds (this is a new area for me) or anything I associated with diet or am not a big fan of. I figured this would turn me off of the plan real quick, so I stuck to things I like. It may be boring for a while, but hopefully this will help me stick with it! I do plan to expand and try new foods, eventually.

What I should have done/ what you should do if starting this kind of life change:

A. Plan, plan, plan - I totally believe in this way of eating and had been planning to commit to it for months, yet when it came down to my committed start day, I was still unprepared. I wandered the store for a while, grabbing this and that, feeling totally unsure and foreign. And hungry, since I had nothing to eat at home before the trip.

B. Starbucks is evil - So I went to Kroger, since it's closest to my house, and of course the first thing I see when I walk in is Starbucks. I think I'm adding this to my celebration list for after the six weeks. Maybe not a grande soy white chocolate mocha, but maybe a green tea non-fat smoothie. Or something. But yes, something from Starbucks is on my list.

Ok, so that may be all I learned, but my craving for coffee is big. Mostly probably because I know I'm not going to have it for a while!

I'm not excited anymore - I was - now I'm just feeling over and under-whelmed at the same time. I'm sure it will get better as I start to feel better. Oh well, switching to Direct TV, so must finish cleaning and take my mind off Starbucks.

- Erin

Emily's Preamble

I wanted to write some things down so that I can come back and read as needed for some motivation.

Why am I doing this?
I am tired of being fat! And it's not *just* an appearance thing. It's really more about my health - don't get me wrong, I'd love to be able to go shopping for clothes and NOT get morbidly depressed. I mean, what whiz-kid decided to label women's plus size clothing as WIDE??? Like I was really going around under some delusion that my ass was *not* on the large size. No, I'd like to purchase pants that TELL me it is! And, would it really be so bad if I was going around with some sort of insane misconception about the size of my ass??? Ok. I'm done... back to topic. I am tired of being tired and out of shape. I want to be have energy and stamina to go for a long hike, ride a bike, or just run around with the kids. I do NOT want to end up with diabetes or heart disease or any of the other problems associated with being overweight.

But I'll say it's even more than all that. I'm going to try this plan because I, also, want to give up (or dramatically decrease) my consumption of meat and packaged foods. I want to change my lifestyle. I feel that over the last 10-15 years (due to life) I've kind of lost sight of things that I used to feel were important. Actually, I've lost sight of a lot of things, but that's a different topic.

I plan on tracking my weight. I will be taking photos (when my new camera arrives!) - which I will only post if this "lifestyle plan" actually works. :)

I will be (or at least I *plan*on) keeping a food journal. So, I guess that's all for now. I'll post my starting stats over the weekend.

Oh- and I loaded up for my last night of yummie, unhealthy, "bad" food. I got a late afternoon coffee. I had pizza for dinner (with a cherry coke). I got a Dove dark chocolate bar. I bought a big Newcastle. I'm a bad, bad girl. But I am ready for change!!

changing up my blog

This will be our posting site for recipes, support and whining. We start tomorrow.